Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
