Already got asked if we're dating
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
