i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
