Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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