porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
