i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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