You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
