just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
