he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
