Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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