I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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