Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
