Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
