how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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