a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We left an ass print on the piano.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
