i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
