It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
did you just send me my own nude
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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