apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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