You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
