just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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