listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
