Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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