A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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