I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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