As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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