How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We left an ass print on the piano.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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