is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
