More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
