yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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