I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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