You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so explain again why im purple
no
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
