so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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