i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
