He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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