you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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