I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
