I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
