and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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