11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
