I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he thought i was a dude.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
