Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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