found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
