sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
