so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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