I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize