just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
