There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
