This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
