I just made out with a guy for $7.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
