I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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