operation harelip BJ is a go
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
