Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
