that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Panties = found
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
