i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I would fuck him just for his dog
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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