I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
