but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I party with great urgency now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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