I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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