im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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