He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
