cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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