Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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