I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
