More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
