I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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