her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
