Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
