some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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