gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize