idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
