You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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