in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize