with your own penis?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm both gender and math confused
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
