i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize